WRITING PART 1

hai readers and blogers. today I'd like to share about my assigment of writing 3.
Tulisan kali ini mengenai tugas pertamaku di writing 3. Saya membuat banyak kesalahan. Waktu dosen saya memeriksa tugas sy, dosen tdk blg dimana letak kesalahan saya, dia hanya mengatakan bahwa writing saya bermasalah. jadi saya berusaha nyari sendiri letak kesalahan itu. saya ingat tentang clauses yg pernah diajarkan di structure 3, jd saya buka lg buku itu. Dugaan saya betul, ternyata dominan kesalahan saya itu di passive voice yg menggunakan adjective clause.

here they are :

Incorrect:

 

THE TOURISM PLACES IN JAYAPURA

            Jayapura is famous as one of the beautiful cities in Papua. It has many beautiful tourism places. Majority of the tourism places relate to water such as beach and lake. The beach which always visits by tourist is Base-G, Tablanusu, Hamai, and Harlen. The lake which always visits by tourist is Danau Sentani. The beach and the lake are often visited for taking pictures by tourist and papuan also . 

Correct:

          Jayapura is famous as one of the beautiful cities in Papua. It has many beautiful tourism places.
Majority of the tourism places relate to water such as beaches and lake. The beaches which are often visited by tourists are Base-G, Tablanusu, Hamai, and Harlen. The most beautiful tourism place in Jayapura is the lake, Danau Sentani. The tourism places are often visited by the tourists and also Papuan for taking pictures.


Incorrect ---  Correct
1. Beach     ---   Beaches (Because I told 4 beaches in Jayapura. 4 itu kan lebih dari satu jadi beach ditambahkan 'es' untuk plural form).


2. Incorrect: The beach which always visits by tourist is Base-G, Tablanusu, Hamai, and Harlen. The lake which always visits by tourist is Danau Sentani.
correct: The beaches which are often visited  by tourists are Base-G, Tablanusu, Hamai, and Harlen. The most beautiful tourism place in Jayapura is the lake, Danau Sentani.
 
-rumus passive voice u/ present tense kan : S + to be (am,is,are) + V3 + by phrase.
-adjective clause yang saya gunakan adalah adjective clause pronouns used as the subject.
e.g : a). The book is mine. It is on the table.
       b). adjective clause pronouns used as the subject : 
            The book which is on the table is mine.
            which digunakan sebagai pengganti "it".


3. Incorrect: The beach and the lake are often visited for taking pictures by tourist and papuan also .    
    Correct: The tourism places are often visited by the tourists and also Papuan for taking pictures. 

untuk kalimat yang ini, saya kurang tau salah atau tidak. tapi kalau menurut saya yang "correct" kalimatnya lebih benar dan baik dibandingkan "incorrect" terutama dalam penggunaan passive voice. .


I'm never bored to say sorry when I share about English lesson. Because I know that I'm not the native English and am not too smart in English. I just share what i got from my course.
Thank you for reading my writing :)